Betrayal
by cynicalidealist
Summary: A one-shot I wrote a few months ago about the thoughts running through Peter's mind as he prepared to betray the Potters.


Peter Pettigrew sat cowering in his small apartment in London. He was shaking with fear, anxiety, and anticipation.

Just this morning, his old friends James and Lily had chosen him to be their Secret Keeper. They had performed the Fidelius Charm not more than an hour ago. Their lives now rested in his hands. He was truly honored that they had chosen him, that they had trusted him enough to put their fate and their son's fate in his unsteady, pudgy hands. Despite the fact that Peter had never really fit in with the other Marauders, they still felt him to be one of them. They treated him just as they did the other Marauders, despite his differences and oddities.

Peter grimaced as a wave of guilt washed over him. James and Lily had trusted him. Chosen him from all of the people. And now he would be forced to betray them. They entrusted with him their greatest secret, and he was momentarily going to deliver it to the very person they were keeping it from. He groaned and started to tremble more violently at the thought of Him. His master. The Dark Lord. Lord Voldemort. He remembered how he was threatened with death if he did not join the Dark Side. No matter how touched he was by James's trust in him, he really had no choice. He could not go against Voldemort. No one ever did and lived to tell about it. He was just not brave enough. Courage was a quality he had always lacked. The rest of the Marauders never had a problem with nerves. Sirius and James would go in search of trouble and could both laugh in the face of danger. Even Remus, although he never went out and looked for situations to make him look bold, had a great deal of courage. He braved his monthly werewolf transformations in a way Peter was sure he never could have managed. And while his friends had always been off proving their valor, Peter was constantly cowering in the background, content with letting others fight his battles.

His grimace was soon replaced with a scowl at these memories. His friends had always assumed they were greater than him. He knew they had always silently mocked him. They never expected great things from him. After all, wasn't that the reason that he was chosen as Secret Keeper. What was it that Sirius had said earlier today? He scratched his head and scrunched up his face, trying to remember. Oh yes. "No one will suspect that James and Lily would choose someone so weak and talent-less to guard their lives." Weak? Talent-less? Peter would show him just how weak and talent-less he really was. He would show them all what he was capable of. Prove to them that he was capable of great things. For in his eyes, what he was preparing to do was great. Evil, maybe, but great, nonetheless.

Peter sat the in the corner, trying to just melt into the wall and be done with all of this, his mind a maelstrom of emotions, his loyalty for a new master raging against his loyalty to his friends. After all, hadn't his friends protected him throughout his years in Hogwarts? They had always included him in everything they had done. He had gained the respect that came with being a Marauder, and none of them had ever doubted whether he deserved that. They trusted him, helped him, guided him, included him. They were true friends to him, and expected him to be a true friend to them. And was this really the best way to show his gratitude? Because under the contempt and jealousy he felt towards them, he knew that he would be eternally grateful to them. But the Dark Lord, he promised him greatness. That was one thing the Marauders had never been able to guarantee for him. With the days of romping through the corridors of Hogwarts long gone, they could no longer secure him greatness or status. And greatness was the one thing he desired above all else. To have people look up at him in awe and wonderment. He wanted his name to ring out with meaning. He wanted to be known. He was tired of being the shadow of the great ones. He was thirsty for power.

As Peter sat there pondering, a loud CRACK was heard in the next room. He knew it was now time to make a choice. He could betray his friends and guarantee himself a life of greatness. Or he could try to protect his friends and most likely die in the attempt, the course of action he knew they would have chosen to take if it was him they were trying to protect. They had risked their lives for him, and would continue to do so. He mustered up all the courage he had, and decided that, for once in his life, he would do the right thing. He would be a true Marauder.

As the tall, sinister figure of Lord Voldemort came gliding into the room, Peter felt all his courage drain from him. As much as he wanted to help his friends, and as much as he knew he would probably despise himself afterwards, he just did not have the courage to do what needed to be done. He bowed deeply to the Dark Lord, and opened his mouth to disclose the piece of information that would seal the Potters' fate.

A malicious grin made its way across Voldemort's face and distorted his features as he anticipated the news that would make him undefeatable, immortal. Peter saw the grin, and made the final choice. Power and greatness were more important to him than friendship and loyalties. Putting all feelings he once had towards his friends in the back of his mind, he told Lord Voldemort the words that would seal the Potters fate. He knowingly severed all ties with his best friends from the past as he told Voldemort where the Potters were hiding.

It was then that he realized by blocking out his feelings he could block out any remorse over his actions. He only felt great significance as he gave the Dark Lord what no one else could provide. Cowering in fear and humility, he felt he was on the undeniable road to greatness.

Moments later, when Voldemort arrived at Godric's Hollow and took the lives of Lily and James Potter in two flashes of green light, it was tantamount to Peter holding the wand and giving the final, fatal blows. For he alone had the power to protect them. He alone betrayed them.


End file.
